We have standing… sort of

M has some important home improvement work to do this week (touching up peeling paint, prepping our deck for baby safety, etc), so E is going to Miss Linda’s house this week, our grandmotherly neighborhood babysitter. When Mama went to pick him up this evening, he was playing with Christina, a very adorable–and tiny–16-month-old. As Mama was chatting with Miss Linda, she watched E let go of the table he was balancing on and stand for a good 10 seconds before he realized what was going on and held back on.

Who knows how long it’ll be before he does it when he realizes what is going on… but we predict we’ll have walking by 13 months.

In other news, today is the one-year anniversary of the stillbirth of one of Mama’s friend’s son at 37 weeks’ gestation. His due date and Elliott’s were almost the same. Over the past year, it’s been truly amazing the amount of love and gratitude little Jasper has brought into this world in which he never took a breath, but really heartbreaking just the same. I look at Elliott and hear him laugh and give him kisses and thank the Universe that we won the cosmic lottery. Not only did we hit the genetic jackpot with his brains and beauty, but on a more basic level, he is happy, healthy and alive. We should never forget what a gift that is. The brains and beauty are gravy, really.

So, thank you, little Jasper, for reminding us to savor every moment. I would give almost anything to not have learned this lesson and instead to be watching videos of you laughing and cruising, but if it had to be this way, I’m glad that I experienced the loving guidance and support of your mama during our pregnancies and the lesson that your loss brings into our lives.

Mama recently watched the commencement address that Rachel Maddow gave to the women in this year’s graduating class at Smith College. She was hilarious and brilliant, but her central point is that we should not live each day as though it is our last… we should live each day doing things we would want to brag about to our grandchildren–we should live our lives doing things that when the inevitable reality of death comes, our lives are worth dying for.

I won’t claim that you were able to fulfill this promise, little Jasper. But you have sure helped me to remember what is important and what, when my time comes, will have been worth dying for.

Sending much love to your family on this day.

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